Johnny had a way of attracting trouble. He didn’t know if it was being born under an unlucky star or his habit of sticking his nose in where he shouldn’t, but somehow trouble always found him. His friends called him “Johnny Dangerously” and while his life was never boring, it wasn’t a walk in the park either. This time, the trouble that found him had gotten the better of him. As he opened his eyes slowly against the harsh light, he groaned and shook the cobwebs out of his head, trying to remember who’d jumped him.

His vision began to clear, but there wasn’t much for him to focus on. The room was large, white and those were its only descriptive features. He tried to stand up and found he was restrained against a high-backed white chair that was integrated into the floor. He couldn’t tell where the light source was, nor did he see any doors within his field of vision. He fought to control his anxiety as he struggled against his bindings, trying to look past the sides of the chair.

“You’re liable to pull something if you continue to struggle,” said a deep disembodied voice.

“Where am I?” Johnny said sharply.

“At ease Lieutenant,” the voice said. To Johnny’s surprise, it wasn’t the same voice. It had morphed into the voice of a young girl with a Vulcan accent.

“I’m not a Lieutenant,” Johnny spat.

“Lieutenant John Billings, Starfleet Service Number 08-471592, former Security Chief aboard the USS Washington. A distinguished career before abandoning Starfleet for the Maquis,” the voice said. It was constantly changing; making sure Johnny couldn’t pinpoint the gender, age or species. “Now pardoned and acting as a mercenary for whoever pays the price.”

Johnny felt his cheeks flush red. “I’m a licensed Private Investigator,” he said.

“Unless your client also needs help with ‘other’ matters once you’re done investigating,” the voice said, and despite the constant changing, the tone was quite clear.

“What do you want from me?” Johnny said, trying to sound like he wasn’t worried.

“We have an assignment for you,” the voice said.

“We?”

“To infiltrate and investigate the crew of a Starship,” the voice continued as if it didn’t hear him.

“Whose fleet?” Johnny had a feeling he already knew the answer.

“They appear as Starfleet Officers, but they are not on any official fleet roster,” the voice said. “They act of their own accord, using Starfleet’s flag to cover themselves as they advance their own agenda.”

“So you figure having someone who already knows Starfleet gives you an in,” Johnny said, nodding.

“Logical, you would agree,” the voice said with a distinctly Vulcan accent.

Johnny looked around his limited field of vision and decided his best bet was to play along. “And assuming I infiltrate their crew, then what?”

“These imposters have a new ship at their disposal. We require information on it in order to limit the damage they can inflict on this quadrant; their crew complement, ship modifications, samples of their technology and whatever else you find of interest.”

“And what am I facing exactly?” Johnny said. “I’m guessing this isn’t going to be some walk in the park if you have to go through all this just to ‘convince’ me to accept.”

For the first time, the voice seemed to hesitate, if only briefly. “Currently all we know is to avoid the ship’s Chief Medical Officer. She’s…nosey.”

“Nosey eh?” Johnny said. “Thanks that’s a real help.” He chewed his lip briefly, trying to figure out how to best buy himself some more time. “And what’s my incentive for doing this?” he said.

“Five bricks of gold-pressed latinum,” the voice said.

“Five bricks?” Johnny said, laughing. “If you had that much money you could buy a fleet of ships to blow them out of the sky.”

“We’d prefer something more subtle,” the voice said.

“Guess if I don’t die I could retire a rich man,” Johnny mused. “Course, I could just work a few extra jobs and still live comfortably. So if that’s all you have—”

“We can also tell you the location of your daughter.”